Home
Archive for
2014
Fear
He grabbed onto me
as if he was still trying to keep a grasp on his life
that is quickly
slipping
away.
His eyes were full of fear,
a fear that I wish I could empathize with,
but who am I to tell this man how to face death?
Trying to be Comfortable with the Uncomfortable.
It always seems to me that people are much better at adapting to different situations than I am. I've never been the most graceful in that department. I kind of just stumble through life; I trip and fall on every pebble and stone. But even though I'm still getting used to all these changes, I'm no longer surprised when a new curve ball is thrown at me. I'm getting more comfortable at being uncomfortable, which is what I believe is supposed to happen. Being comfortable means you stop growing and learning, so I like to think that I'm constantly learning something new.
To remind you that you can still be happy when you've got not much else
Every time I've worked on evenings she never wants to come out of her room. She came out in her wheelchair this one day, wearing only a shirt and a soaker pad to cover her bottom half and the brightest smile on her face.
"Miss A, don't you want to put on some pants?" I asked her.
"No honey, it's comfortable and I don't mind if anyone sees my goodies," she replied with a grin.
---
Miss B has had trouble adjusting to her new room this past week, but she came out yesterday and sat on the porch with Miss C. It was beautiful outside, and they were enjoying the breeze. While I was inside charting, I could hear the two of them singing loudly in their rocking chairs. Mind you they were both singing two completely different songs, however they were happily singing like they were in a duet together.
Reality Check.
While I take this time off from school, I know money's going to be tight for myself because I'm saving up for so much that I want to have in my life in the future and to lessen the load that my parents may have to help me out with. Although the route that I'm currently taking includes intensely back-breaking work, it's opening my eyes to a lot of things I'd understand, but not completely understand without fully experiencing it first hand. We see pictures on Facebook, Instagram, etc. about people going on vacations, getting luxury cars, and wearing expensive clothing but we never know the entire story behind it. We don't know whether that person has saved up for years for that vacation, or if they are going on vacation despite the fact that they can't pay off their credit card debt.
Getting a full-time job has humbled myself down in terms of what I ask for from my parents. When I was younger I used to ask why my friends got to have these nice bags and expensive cars while I didn't, my dad would reply, "All of that is their parents' money, without their parents they would have none of those things." Which was true almost every time. Some people may never realize the worth of a dollar and how hard others work for it.
Getting a job has also made me feel extremely bad about some of my careless spending. All of those times when I went to get Starbucks in college when I could have made my own coffee (which adds up quickly by the way), when I bought useless things that I only used once, and times when I always wanted to buy lunch when it's much cheaper to just bring lunch from home. I feel guilty about it, although it's not something I should dwell on but to use for future reference when it comes to spending.
You learn a lot once you step into the real world.
Hello Fall!
Happy first of September! For some reason I'm super excited for fall this year because it's always so beautiful around where I live when it comes fall time. I've certainly missed it while I've been away at college these past four years. I'm ready for the smell of pumpkin spiced lattes, the lovely colors of the leaves, and of course I get to pull out my boots and fall clothes! Summer's been lovely, but I'm looking forward to fall! :)
(Note: I do not own any of these photographs)
Day 4
He's a soft spoken man, but since I've gotten to know him he's been a little more open talking. On my last day of clinical on the unit, he looks at me during breakfast and randomly says, "You remind me of my mother."
I laughed. "How so?"
"Because she used to feed me all the time when I was a child."
"Was your mother a good woman?" I ask.
He nods with a smile on his face. "She definitely was."
I laughed. "How so?"
"Because she used to feed me all the time when I was a child."
"Was your mother a good woman?" I ask.
He nods with a smile on his face. "She definitely was."
Day 1
On the first day of clinicals I got to clean and paint an old lady's nails. When I asked if she wanted me to paint her nails she said "Oh I don't even know what that is," apprehensively as I pointed to the nail polishes. I smiled at her and told her to choose any color that she wanted so I could paint them, and she chose the brightest pink of the batch. Right after painting her first nail she kept saying how beautiful the color looked. Once I finished she excitedly asked me how long it would take for the nails to dry, and I told her about ten minutes. She nodded and kept her hands completely still so she would not mess them up while still admiring them.
This was my favorite part of the day. It's amazing how many of the elderly have lost so much but are still able to smile back when someone smiles at them and be able to enjoy the small things they have left in their life. It's really humbling.
Listen once in a while.
Throughout my experiences and interactions with people, there is one conclusion that I've come to: People love talking about themselves. Many times, I let other people talk because they seem to enjoy having someone listen to them. I learn a lot about people simply by listening more and responding when appropriate. Some people will continue to talk about themselves as long as they have an audience. It's normal, we are all social beings that need interaction and need to be heard.
So if you know you're the one who's usually the life of the conversation, try switching it up. Listen more, ask more questions. The quiet ones have stories to tell as well. You'll be surprised by what you can learn from people just by lending an ear.
Prove it to yourself.
Don't worry about what anyone else is doing or what they're telling you to make yourself feel bad. Worry about you, and think about your own goals. Sometimes our dreams are not unrealistic, but our timeline of how things will turn out is. Ignore the backlash. Once it all turns out right everyone will then go back on their words and finally understand. And if they don't...well you don't need to impress everyone in the world anyways. Just prove it to yourself.
Pick-Me-Up of the Day.
In case you needed something to brighten your day, here's a man who just found out he is going to be a grandpa. :)
Pay Attention to Names.
If there's one thing that people acknowledge, it's when you remember their name and call them by their name. It establishes a relationship because you are not only taking the time to remember that person's name, but you are also urging them to remember yours. I did this with a woman who I'll be working with in the future who didn't seem to know anyone else in the class, and instantly she became friendly with me. She turned out to be extremely sweet and gave me a piece of paper with quotes she wrote on it because I had told her about my future endeavors. Never have I felt so appreciated by someone I had just met, even if it was just a piece of paper with inspiring quotes on it.
"Some succeed because they are destined to; most succeed because they are determined to." - Anatole Fance
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." - Bill Cosby
"Tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today." - Malcolm X
"Some succeed because they are destined to; most succeed because they are determined to." - Anatole Fance
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." - Bill Cosby
"Tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today." - Malcolm X
Here We Go.
After almost two months of stress and constant disappointment, my life plans are finally about to be set in motion.
It's going to be a rough ride, but I'm ready. I'm so ready.
It's going to be a rough ride, but I'm ready. I'm so ready.
Post-College Update
It's been a while since I've written very much on my blog, but it's all right. It's been about a month and a half since I've graduated, and I'm still job searching in my area since I'm pretty set on finding a job near home. Money is going to be tight for a while, and I'm not impulsive enough to move to a new city just because that's something people are "supposed" to do once they graduate college. I have big plans, but at the moment this is where I need to be.
I can see why everyone stresses about searching for jobs and the difficulty of it. It's the new obstacle in my life, and I can see why people can easily become depressed by it. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that being unemployed sucks, but even though I don't have a job yet I'm thankful that I still have a home to come back to. I'm keeping myself busy so I don't just mope around all day hoping that a job will come by. I know that once I do land that job, I'll wish that I had this much free time to do as I please right now. The main reason that I've been keeping my sanity during these days looking for work is that I've been going to the gym and staying active lately. Those endorphins definitely help relieve stress!
It's been tough, but I know I've gone through my share of obstacles. Staying positive!
I can see why everyone stresses about searching for jobs and the difficulty of it. It's the new obstacle in my life, and I can see why people can easily become depressed by it. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that being unemployed sucks, but even though I don't have a job yet I'm thankful that I still have a home to come back to. I'm keeping myself busy so I don't just mope around all day hoping that a job will come by. I know that once I do land that job, I'll wish that I had this much free time to do as I please right now. The main reason that I've been keeping my sanity during these days looking for work is that I've been going to the gym and staying active lately. Those endorphins definitely help relieve stress!
It's been tough, but I know I've gone through my share of obstacles. Staying positive!
Graduation!
I sit here writing this as a recent college graduate! Yesterday was the big day, and it was definitely a bittersweet one. It was rainy but it didn't ruin my day to spend my last moments with my friends from college. College was no walk in the park as a Biology major, and it was no different for my last semester at Stony Brook University. I'm having so much trouble trying to even figure out what to say in this post because there was just so much that happened these past four years. I came in as a scared freshman who had a hard time adjusting because it was my first time being so far from home. As I went through the years I figured out how I study best, and I met some pretty wonderful people that I will definitely keep close to my heart even though we all are now heading on to our different paths in life. Here's a short list of a few things that I learned in college:
1. There will always be work. If you don't have time for your friends, make time.
2. You will meet so many different types of people who are going to challenge your way of thinking and your morals. It's good to try new things but it's always important to be grounded in terms of who you are.
3. If you discover something that makes you happy, keep doing it. It can be the one thing that keeps you sane when everything is falling apart.
4. You are much, much stronger than you think you are.
Ultimately, college has made me realize just how awesome my parents are even more than before. Not everyone can say that their parents came to America as refugees escaping the country during war with their lives in a suitcase and not a cent to their name. They've had their heads on straight the entire time. There are people who were in similar situations as my parents that have fallen to gambling addictions and party harder than their children. My parents have worked hard their entire lives so I can now proudly say that I am part of the first generation in my family to graduate with a bachelor's degree.
I'm a little nervous, but I honestly cannot wait to see what life has in store for me. Congratulations to everyone in the class of 2014, I know you will all do great things!
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.”
― Anatole France
To The Met!
I learned a new word recently: frisson. It's the word used to define the chills and goosebumps you get whenever you experience some type of emotional excitement. Let me just say that I experienced frissons of excitement all throughout today! I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for the first time today (yes native New Yorkers, my first time) to do an assignment for my painting class, and IT WAS AWESOME. You can literally spend days in there because the museum is so enormous. What's good about having general knowledge about drawing and painting is that it allows me to really appreciate the work that other artists produce as well, so I was really looking forward to seeing all of the artwork. Since every other time I've gone to Central Park it's either rained or I've ran out of time, Sandy and I strolled through Central Park on our way to the Met.
This painting of Monet's Waterlilies was my absolute favorite of all of the paintings we saw today. I was pretty awestruck by the fact that I was staring at famous paintings from some of the most well-known artists in history. Seeing the real thing is a pretty big deal for me.
The lovely Sandy.
We walked past these two ladies playing in Central Park, and it made me miss playing the violin.
Spring is my absolute favorite season, therefore every time spring rolls around most of the pictures I take consist of flowering trees. So of course while we were walking I had to take five million pictures of the cherry blossoms. :)
This painting of Monet's Waterlilies was my absolute favorite of all of the paintings we saw today. I was pretty awestruck by the fact that I was staring at famous paintings from some of the most well-known artists in history. Seeing the real thing is a pretty big deal for me.
Wheat Field with Cypresses, 1889- Vincent van Gogh
Self Portrait with a Straw Hat - Vincent van Gogh, 1887
Me with A Sunday on La Grande Jatte, 1884 - George Seurat
This one brought me down memory lane, because the first time I saw a photograph of this painting was in art class in elementary school.
A Massacre of the Innocents, 1824 - Francois Joseph Navez
This was also a favorite although I'm not familiar with the artist. I couldn't get over this painting and how realistic it looked. It made me realize that if I were to ever go to the Sistine Chapel in the future, I probably would never leave.
Dancer in Green, 1883 - Edgar Degas
To end everything we wound up going to the exhibit that showcased different room setups in European and American history. Everything was so elegant; I often found myself picturing people who could have lived in these types of houses back in the day.
Thanks Sandy for being my museum buddy again! There's no one else I'd rather go to bookstores/stare at random stuff in museums with than you.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)